Fool to Believe
by Tonkswyrda
Summary: The first fight is always the hardest. “We are creatures of the underworld. We can’t afford to love.” “You… you made me believe… you…” “You were a fool to believe. That we could have anything. So Leave.” Remus said harshly.


**For Sick-atxxheart's first challenge.**

Tonks sat in Grimauld place, waiting nervously for Remus to come home.

"He did say today, didn't he?" she asked Sirius, as he poured them another fire whiskey. He rolled his eyes.

"Yes, he said today. As I've told you the last hundred times."

She glared at him.

" So-rry." He muttered.

From downstairs came the sound of the front door opening. A weary voice called out. "Hello?"

"He's back!" Tonks squealed, jumping out of her chair. She ran down the stairs, tripped over her own feet, and fell to the bottom. She picked her self up, to see Remus, closing the door behind him, chuckling.

"Remus!" she squealed again, and jumped on him, kissing him enthusiastically. He wrapped his arms around her, staggering backwards.

"Are you ok?" Tonks demanded, in between kisses.

"I'm fine." Remus replied, kissing her back.

"Get a room!" Sirius called from the landing upstairs.

Remus gently unwrapped her legs from around his waist, still kissing her.

"I've missed you." He muttered, nuzzling her neck.

She smiled. "Same here." she rested her head against his chest, and sighed. "I've missed this."

"Bet that's not all you've missed." He teased. She looked up at him, and became serious.

"They're new." She lightly traced her fingers over new scars on his cheek.

"It happens." He murmured, twisting her hair round his fingers. She grinned cheekily at him.

"So, do you want to find out what else I missed?"

"Most definitely." he grinned.

~0~

As the first rays of light filtered through the curtains, Remus looked at the woman lying beside him. He was still amazed every time she told him she loved him, amazed that any one as beautiful as her could love something like him. He felt ashamed. Because of what he was, and what it meant they could never have- a life together.

As that thought crossed his mind, he remembered the night before he'd left the werewolves. He'd been sitting with one of the older ones, who didn't want to be there either. He had told Remus how his life had fallen apart, piece-by-piece.

"Who is she?" he had asked.

"Who?"

"The woman. The one you talk about in your sleep."

"Oh. Um… that's Nymphadora." Remus hadn't been aware he talked in his sleep.

"You love her?" the man had asked.

"With all my heart."

"Do you want her to end up like this? To become one of us?"

"No. Absolutely not."

"Then leave her. You know what Greyback's like. You can't keep a secret here for long. He'll find out. Hell find her, and he'll take her. If you don't want that, you have to let her go. You have to hurt her. Hurt her to save her."

"I cant. She's… she's everything to me."

"But you have to. To save her." The old man insisted.

"How do you know that's what will happen?" Remus asked stubbornly.

"Because that's what happened to me. 20 years ago, I loved a woman. But Greyback deemed it inappropriate, so he killed her. And I don't want you to make the same mistake."

"Mistake?"

The old man smiled sadly. "We are creatures of the underworld. We can't afford to love."

Only now did Remus realise what the old man had been saying. He would never want anything to happen to Nymphadora. And if it was his fault… he couldn't stand that. He wouldn't let it happen.

_Hurt her. Hurt her to save her._

He felt Tonks' body move next to his as she woke. She opened her eyes and smiled at him.

"Good morning."

He tried to smile back, but he couldn't. All he could see was her beautiful face, pale and lifeless, splattered with blood, lying in a ditch on the side of a road. He shuddered.

"Remus? You ok?"

He sat up, rubbing his temples. This wasn't going to be easy, but he had to. He wouldn't let it come true.

"Tonks…"

She sat up, pale. He never called her by her last name…

"We need to talk."

Crap. "About what?" she asked carefully.

"About this. Us. It… we… we cant work."

Tonks stared at him incredulously.

"Remus Lupin, if you're breaking up with me, I swear, so help you god-"

"That's exactly what I'm doing." He said calmly.

"I will- wait, what?"

Remus got out of bed, and started to dress. "It was a dream between us, Tonks. Nothing more."

She was standing now too, the bed sheet wrapped around her.

"Why are you saying this? You were on a completely different track last night-"

"That was lust. Nothing more."

"So what you're trying to say is that every time you told me that you loved me, all you wanted was a good shag?"

Remus turned to look at her. "Get it through your head. We cant work."

"We can! If only you weren't being so bloody stubborn! Don't you see? It doesn't matter! None of it!" Tonks grabbed his hand, her eyes searching his face, for a flicker of emotion.

"Just go, Tonks, Go home."

"You don't mean that." she whispered. He pulled his hand from her grasp.

"Tonks, leave!" he yelled.

"No!" she yelled back.

"I don't want you! I don't love you!" Remus yelled. She took a step back.

"You… you made me believe… you…"

"You were a fool to believe. That we could have anything. So Leave." Remus said harshly.

"I see that now." Tonks whispered. Eyes watering, still wrapped in the sheet, she ran from the room.

The moment she was gone, Remus sunk onto the bed. He had done it. He put his head in his hands, to stop them shaking. He had meant it. He had to. So why did he feel so guilty? He had to hurt her. To save her. But it shouldn't be like this. It felt wrong, not having her there in his arms.

The door crashed open.

"What the hell did you do?" Sirius yelled.

"Hi. Excuse me?"

"What did you do to Tonks? She's staring at the wall. She didn't even hear me? So what did you do?"

"I…I broke up with her." Remus muttered.

"You WHAT? Why?"

"To save her." Remus mumbled.

"That is the crappiest excuse I have ever heard. From what, exactly?"

"You know what." Remus said darkly.

Sirius groaned. "She doesn't care, Remus! If she did, she wouldn't have gone out with you in the first place."

"Its not just me though, Pads! If others find out about her… about us… shes dead. Or worse. You know Greyback would. So I had to hurt her. To save her."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You can be so thick. You don't think she doesn't know that? Shes not stupid. If she wants to put herself in that situation, its her choice, Moony. So… you have to explain that to her. You know, hat ever happens, shes not going to blame you. Please, go talk to her. If not for yourself, then for my sanity?" Sirius grinned.

"I suppose your right. I was a bit… out of line."

"I always am."

Tonks sat in her room, staring at the peeling green wall paper. She had gotten to her underwear before giving it up as a bad job. The wall was much more interesting them getting dressed and facing the day. And so much less Remus related.

"Nymphadora?" She glanced at Remus before turning back to the wall.

"What? Come for another shag?" She asked dully. She felt the bed sink as Remus sat next to her.

"I wanted to apologize."

"For what? Being the worlds biggest asshole?" She asked venomously.

"Yes." she stared at him. He was looking at his shoes, and refused to look up.

"I'm sorry. For what I said. I know I hurt you… and that was wrong. I shouldn't have. I didn't really mean any of it. Its just… someone told me something while I was away… and I don't want to lose you. I cant. Lose you. I thought I was saving you. But, well, I realised… if you need saving, you'll ask for it." he looked at Tonks, and was surprised to see her smiling weakly.

"What did someone say?" she asked gently.

So he told her. He told her everything the old man had told her. About what he had said would inevitably, happen. When he finished, he was surprised to see her grinning.

"What?"

"Remus. Please. I'm an auror. Escaping death is in my job description. You need to.. Loosen up. Nothings going to happen to me.""But how can you be sure?" He asked.

She pulled his arms around her. "I'm a black." she said cheekily. "we're always sure."

"I'm not sure that's a good thing." Remus muttered, pulling her closer.

"Probably not." She agreed. "So, was that our first fight?" she asked, grinning.

"I think so. It sucked, didn't it?"

"I'd say. But seeing as how we're still together, I need you to promise me something."

"Name it."

"Never try to save my life again."

He bit his lip. "That's the one thing I can never promise."

Tonks kissed him. "Compromise then. Let me forgive you." Remus started to object, but she cut him down. "No, Remus. You know I always will. So, you have to promise to always love me."

"I can easily promise that. I love you, Nymphadora Tonks. Forever."

"Good." she kissed him again. "I like the sound of that."

**A/N: OK, I liked this when I wrote it… but now ive typed it up im not so sure. So, drop me a review and tell me what you think!**


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